last night i went to bed with a baby tooth in my mouth. yes, a baby tooth. indeed, i am 26 years old. this evening, it’s gone and been replaced by a seemingly large gap. this season has undoubtedly been one of letting go and not being afraid by what’s to come. an invaluable lesson and skill to carry with me with every day that follows.
i usually welcome change with a twitter-pating heart and a swirling excitement in my brain. in fact i draw such pleasure from change that i rearrange my house weekly. sometimes just small(ish) changes, perhaps just a picture and some sea shells, but usually, it’s the furniture. the couch, the chair, the coffee table and whatever else looks like it would appreciate a freshening up.
i must admit, i love things. i imagine them enjoying the view on the bookshelf or the mantle and being happy to be near other things. they all have stories and perhaps they share similar ones. they could even have dirt on their surface somewhere from the same faraway place, displayed proudly, like a mutual feather in their cap.
change is so good. this is something i know to be true, and that allows me to trust that what happens next, will bring a welcome outcome, lesson, or adventure. change is growth and movement and character. change is good.
so here i sit, with a kitten not quite five months old, in the middle of teething, and i have just let go of my last baby tooth. with what feels like simultaneously, i am letting go of the most loving feline, seymour. a companion so fine it hurts horribly to think him gone from my earthly life. never to be seen again? my heart hopes not. but should it be, i believe i have let go. and i trust that what is to come will be for the better. a welcome change it simply must be.
the delight of life is in the balance, i believe. despite the darkness, there is an overpowering light. i just celebrated, almost too well, six months of marriage with the most (i don’t choose those words lightly folks) handsome and loving of men, and women for that matter. i mentioned the kitten, maple, a wiley, wonderful thing, slowly making a place for herself in our pup, jack’s one-track heart. we live on a farm, in a cabin, with a wood stove and i have the fortune of working from home, creating, cooking, and cleaning everyday. life is truly beautiful and i am grateful.
my gratitude grows deeper with each day i am able to do what i sincerely and honestly love. to create, with my hands using skills and techniques born hundreds, if not thousands, of years ago. i used to think i was living in the wrong time, but of course that’s not true. i am ever learning that this time suits me more than ever, i’m sure. as the world’s pace quickens by the millisecond, i am tucked away, slowed down to a pace that feels most natural and sustainable. finding balance in hauling wood, building a fire, and burning it to warm the house. pressing fabric, cutting and sewing and eventually selling and sending that fabric out into the world. a creation i made with my own two hands.
change is constant. change is good. goodbye little baby tooth, it’s been real.